“Mean” old mom

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I dont know the name of the author of this poem but I read it somewhere and it was so good I just had to share it here.

MOM (MEAN OLD MOTHER)!!!
 
Son to MUM:

My son came home from school one day, with a smirk upon his face.
He decided he was smart enough, to put me in my place. 

‘Guess what I learned in Civics Two, that’s taught by Mr. Wright?
 It’s all about the laws today, the ‘Children’s Bill of Rights.’

It says I need not clean my room, don’t have to cut my hair.
 No one can tell me what to think, or speak, or what to wear.

I have freedom from religion, and regardless what you say,
I don’t have to bow my head, and I sure don’t have to pray.

I can wear earrings if I want, and pierce my tongue and nose.
I can read and watch just what I like, get tattoos from head to toe.

And if you ever spank me, I’ll charge you with a crime.
I’ll back up all my charges, with the marks on my behind.

Don’t you ever touch me, my body’s only for my use,
Not for your hugs and kisses, that’s just more child abuse.

Don’t preach about your morals, like your Mother did to you.
That’s nothing more than mind control, and it’s illegal too! 

Mum, I have these children’s rights, so you can’t influence me,
Or I’ll call Children’s Protective Services, better known as C.P.S.
 
Mum’s Reply and Thoughts:

Of course my first instinct was to toss him out the door.
But the chance to teach him a lesson made me think a little more. 

I mulled it over carefully, I couldn’t let this go.
A smile crept upon my face, he’s messing with a pro..

  
Next day I took him shopping at the local Goodwill Store.
 I told him, ‘Pick out all you want, there’s shirts & pants galore.
 
I’ve called and checked with C.P.S. who said they didn’t care
If I bought you K-Mart shoes instead of those Nike Airs.
 
I’ve cancelled that appointment to take your driver’s test.
The C.P.S. is unconcerned so I’ll decide what’s best. ‘

 

I said ‘No time to stop and eat, or pick up stuff to munch.
And tomorrow you can start to learn to make your own packed lunch.

Just save the raging appetite, and wait ’til dinner time.
We’re having lamb’s fry and onions, a favourite dish of mine.’

He asked ‘Can I please rent a movie, to watch on my VCR?’
‘Sorry, but I sold your TV, for new tyres on my car.
 

Also rented out your room, you’ll take the couch instead.
The C.P.S. requires just a roof above your head.

  
Your clothing won’t be trendy now, and I’ll choose what we eat.
That allowance that you used to get, will buy me something neat.

I’m selling off your Jet Ski, Dirt-bike & roller blades.
Check out the ‘Parents Bill of Rights’, it’s in effect today!

Hey hot shot, are you crying, why are you on your knees?
Are you asking God to help you out, instead of C.P.S.?’ 

Babysitting…

Looking after kids is not an easy task,
Especially as the baby’s wailing as you have run out of Rusk.
Give them breakfast, and settle in,
Little jimmy is learning ABC’s.
Eyes at the back of your head you definitely need,
To watch what’s in their mouth, is it the tooth paste lid??
“Riya don’t eat crayons, please,
And do use a tissue when you sneeze.”
Someone’s knocking at the door,
But alas Jimmy has put finger paint on the floor!
Let’s have lunch and then clean up,
“Riya, please drink properly and do not slurp.”
Baby lulu is on my lap,
Please god let her take a nap.
Riya, Jimmy lets read a book,
Stop squabbling ,we can all share and look
Time for fresh air so we go outside,
Children leave the doggy alone; he can’t give horsey ride!
Riya stop feeding the baby mud!
Suddenly a wail ,as jimmy falls in the pond with an enormous thud!
PHEW!!! Six-’clock and finally time for bed.
Children washed and clean and bedtime story all read.
Finally time to take a well earned break,
Enjoy a cup of tea before the kids awake.
Now never listen to anyone who says babysitting is an easy task!!
I shall never again agree if anyone should ask!!

 

Pigs flu!!!!

They once said that a black man would be President when pigs fly.

His first 100 days and wham!!

Pig’s flu! (pig flew) 🙂

 

A strange love poem…..

I recently visited this site:

http://www.links2love.com/poem_generator.htm

Here you type in a series of verbs, nouns and other words and a love poem in generated for you using your chosen words.

The words I fed in are the ones in bold but the poem generator uses them in random order.So one can never predict the outcome.Do try and post your results in the comments section.

My attempts produced this poem:

 ~~~~~~~*~~~~~~~

My Love Your skin glows like the apple, blossoms dancing as the red rose in the purest hope of spring.

My heart follows your piano voice and leaps like a rabbit at the whisper of your name.

The evening floats in on a great dove wing.

I am comforted by your t shirt that I carry into the twilight of India beams and hold next to my heart.

I am filled with hope that I may dry your tears of love potion.

As my eye falls from my jeans, it reminds me of your London. In the quiet, I listen for the last humming of the day.

My heated lips leaps to my hat. I wait in the moonlight for your secret America so that we may singing as one, lips to lips, in search of the magnificient blue and mystical America of love.

~~~~~~~*~~~~~~~

computer problems

 

Subject: Computer Problems-another email forward I would like to share.

I was having trouble with my computer. So I called David,
the 11 year old next door whose bedroom looks like Mission Control,
and asked him to come over.

David clicked a couple of buttons and solved the problem.

As he was walking away, I called after him, “So, what was wrong?”

He replied, “It was an ID ten T error.”

I didn’t want to appear stupid, but nonetheless inquired, “An ID
Ten T error? What’s that? In case I need to fix it again.”

David grinned, “Haven’t you ever heard of an ID ten T error before?”

“No”, I replied.

“Write it down,” he said, “and I think you’ll figure it out.”

So I wrote down: I D 1 0 T

I used to like that little boy.