I dont know the name of the author of this poem but I read it somewhere and it was so good I just had to share it here.
MOM (MEAN OLD MOTHER)!!!
Son to MUM:
My son came home from school one day, with a smirk upon his face.
He decided he was smart enough, to put me in my place.
‘Guess what I learned in Civics Two, that’s taught by Mr. Wright?
It’s all about the laws today, the ‘Children’s Bill of Rights.’
It says I need not clean my room, don’t have to cut my hair.
No one can tell me what to think, or speak, or what to wear.
I have freedom from religion, and regardless what you say,
I don’t have to bow my head, and I sure don’t have to pray.
I can wear earrings if I want, and pierce my tongue and nose.
I can read and watch just what I like, get tattoos from head to toe.
And if you ever spank me, I’ll charge you with a crime.
I’ll back up all my charges, with the marks on my behind.
Don’t you ever touch me, my body’s only for my use,
Not for your hugs and kisses, that’s just more child abuse.
Don’t preach about your morals, like your Mother did to you.
That’s nothing more than mind control, and it’s illegal too!
Mum, I have these children’s rights, so you can’t influence me,
Or I’ll call Children’s Protective Services, better known as C.P.S.
Mum’s Reply and Thoughts:
Of course my first instinct was to toss him out the door.
But the chance to teach him a lesson made me think a little more.
I mulled it over carefully, I couldn’t let this go.
A smile crept upon my face, he’s messing with a pro..
Next day I took him shopping at the local Goodwill Store.
I told him, ‘Pick out all you want, there’s shirts & pants galore.
I’ve called and checked with C.P.S. who said they didn’t care
If I bought you K-Mart shoes instead of those Nike Airs.
I’ve cancelled that appointment to take your driver’s test.
The C.P.S. is unconcerned so I’ll decide what’s best. ‘
And tomorrow you can start to learn to make your own packed lunch.
Just save the raging appetite, and wait ’til dinner time.
We’re having lamb’s fry and onions, a favourite dish of mine.’
He asked ‘Can I please rent a movie, to watch on my VCR?’
‘Sorry, but I sold your TV, for new tyres on my car.
The C.P.S. requires just a roof above your head.
Your clothing won’t be trendy now, and I’ll choose what we eat.
That allowance that you used to get, will buy me something neat.
I’m selling off your Jet Ski, Dirt-bike & roller blades.
Check out the ‘Parents Bill of Rights’, it’s in effect today!
Hey hot shot, are you crying, why are you on your knees?
Are you asking God to help you out, instead of C.P.S.?’