the walk in the rain…

Ananya cursed under her breath, “Damn the office manager, he had to stop me now!! Now I will miss my bus and god knows how I will get home!!!” Friday rush hour traffic is chaos and Ananya was trying to deliberately miss it so that she could avoid the crowds and chaos of the hustling, bustling workers all scurrying to get home for the weekend in the humid, acrid summer heat. Finally convincing the manager that all the allocated work was complete, all emails sent, Ananya managed to escape the exasperating manager and head for home.

Already late, now she had to dash to catch the bus. The summer heat scorching threw beads of perspiration on Ananya pale face as she ran for the bus, but to her annoyance as she reached the bus stop it sped past with a vengeance almost as if it was smirking at her predicament. Infuriated and exploding with  anger she had little choice, either to wait in the muggy heat for the next bus, with no guarantee she will get a seat as it will be packed  or start walking. Smouldering in the unbearable  heat, Ananya began her thirty minute walk home, the noise of the traffic deafening, the fumes pungent and choking .Cautiously she pushed her way, avoiding the uneven footpaths and shirking the persistent beggars taking over the walkway.

Jostling past the crowds, she had barely been walking for ten minutes, when Ananya heard an almighty roar, a little surprised but she was sure she heard it. It came again, this time definitely the roar of thunder, an angry grumble of nature rumbled over head, it shook the sky with force and might. Within moments, as if a crescendo in the orchestra, a surge of lightening encased the grey sky. Another flash of lightening followed, ripping through the stormy clouds, casting a spurge of blinding light across the blackened sky. The mighty clouds, gallant and bold were unimpressed and unafraid, began to cascade their rains in chorus. In gripping vengeance the lightening, lacerated and ruptured the tormenting sombre sky. In synchronisation rain drops the size of pearls, spilled out of the engorged overflowing rain clouds resembling a gigantic waterfall.

People scurried for shelter, as they heard a continuous almighty growl from the threatening sky. Dodging and ducking people colliding with each other, sought refuge in nearby shop doorways, avoiding the polluted river of mud and brown water, swirling around their feet. The drains overflowed as the incessant unrelenting storm brewed mercilessly as the thunder clapped louder and louder. Minutes seemed like hours, as the storm persistently swept through the town.

Ananya’s clothes clung to her like second skin, her curly hair now lank and dripping stuck to her demure face moulding it to her slender cheekbone. Soaked to the skin and no where to hide, she tried to shield her laptop case from the drenching rain. The ensemble of thunder and lightening continued to battle with each other in a war of anger and rage. Ananya thought to try and flag down a taxi but none were available, the storm had caused a standstill in the already stagnant traffic. Deciding to take shelter in a nearby coffee shop she made her way into Starbucks. She found a corner table by the window and ordered a steaming hot cup of cappuccino and waited for the storm to pass. Not knowing how else to kill time, Ananya played her favourite childhood game. She watched the rain drops on the shop window racing each other to the bottom of the pane.

Finally the rendition of the concert in the sky reached its finale, the thunder and lightening called a truce. The sky now calm and silent graciously made way for the once heavily pregnant rain clouds to give birth to a beautiful crimson sky. The torrents of rain gave way to a fine misty shimmer, cooling the humid summer heat .The twinkling stars boldly pushed their way to glimmer in the night sky once again.

Ananya finished her last sip of coffee and made her way home. The pavements washed with the rains were wet and slippery as vendors began to trade again. People moved away from the shop doorways to carry on their journey, the memory of the walk in the rain etched firmly in their minds.

Copyright © Nayna Kanabar 2009

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Published in: on July 24, 2009 at 9:47 pm  Comments (40)  

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40 CommentsLeave a comment

  1. so at last u did send something in……this was good…but i liked the previous one better…the one on summer..

  2. Beautifully written buddy…the rain drives away all the pain, isnt it? 🙂
    All the best for the contest! 🙂

  3. Well liked ur story keep it up..and all the best for the competition..
    anyway it wud be gr8 if u visit my blog..me a beginner…and by the way can u pls give me the link abt the competition for which u have published the story…

  4. hey d story is well written …

  5. Nice! well written! Guess the best solution to rain always is a cup of steaming coffee and Starbucks no less… All the best for the contest!

  6. well executed.. all the best for the contest..

  7. The current weather here is similar to the story, hot and humind. If only we could get some “varsha” as it happens in the story.

    Loved the story, you have an impressive collection of words in your vocabulary which you use beautifully in your creations.

  8. excellently written angel

    nobody else cud have described rain so beautifully

    descriptive , crisp and vivid

    i love the structuring and ur vocab

    will read more of ur creative works

  9. Hey..I came over to your blog from the blogging community at orkut.

    I like ur blog overall…including this piece here.

    Will stop by more often..

  10. @abhijit thanks for the comments ,yes I didnt attempt the summer competition so after much debating thought to enter this one.

  11. @ sree thanks for the support.

  12. @ aritra thanks will surely visit ure blog pls let me know tha url link.thanks for your lovely comments.

  13. @ adeline thanks for dropping by.
    @ aswin thanks yeh nothing like a steaming cuppa on a rainy day.

  14. @ manorath thanks for the lovely comments
    @ deeps I am glad you liked it.I guess my english is 100% beeter than the hindi/gujarati.lolz

  15. @ aparna do visit again in fact if you enjoy fiction you may like this section.
    https://cutestangel.wordpress.com/category/fiction/

  16. Very well written and the theme is amazing

  17. It was awesome…. i really enjoyed reading.
    the way of writing n words used was superb….
    keep writing…

    http://doodles-in-my-last-page.blogspot.com/

  18. luv the story !

  19. That’s a lovely story… Hope you really do win the contest… Nice blog… Cheers!!!

  20. lovely story

  21. good one!

  22. commented before also
    really nice post

  23. lovely write-up!! wish u al the very best for the contest.

  24. hey there, really nice post this. How i wish i could just run around like mad when it rains or play football or simply walk with ur friends and enjoy the rain with some hot hot samosa or bhujias…yummy rite? But this wretched fever and cold makes me rather helpless 😦

    Have a nice day

    Cheers
    Shantharam

  25. Jostling past the crowds, she had barely…..~~~ I loved this paragraphvery much..
    btw..I wished/felt, if u could hav bring some romance also into this it would have been a stunner..
    LOvers & Romance gel very nicely..
    eny way u hav a competition in hand to be won..so Good luck..lemme c other entries too… thn decide about voting..

    enyway cheers & good luck!! :))

  26. u started bloggin in 2007??? WOW! i think it ll take years to read all ur posts..

    u write well.. usage f words… 🙂

    Gimme expert advice ok…. I take lot f advice 😀
    Cheers
    Anoop

  27. Hey guys many thanks for such supportive comments!!

  28. Wow! really nice story. The way you used words to describe rain and the story as it goes after rain, “made way for the once heavily pregnant rain clouds to give birth to a beautiful crimson sky. “- Simply fantasitc. Hope you win the contest. 🙂

  29. very nicely written! the way you write and describe in words… you always manage to drag the reader straight into the ambiance of story as if its happening right there LIVE!

    but there is a critical comment .. i would tell u when i see u next 😛
    see i’m lazy lolz

  30. Hey U have written a good story. Nice work,keep it Up.

  31. @ vijay thanks
    @Lazy please do post your critisism here afterall comments are valueable good or bad.

  32. I won’t falsely praise you. I didn’t find this story remarkable; some of your works that I read earlier (like 72 hours and Sandy’s story) were much better.
    Also, there is something conflicting. Are you writing about India or the UK? Beggars on the streets and coffee in Starbucks in the same story somehow don’t go well together.
    Hoping to read something better from you soon.

  33. @ aparajita thanks for the comments ,I deliberately ommitted a romantic story line here as my previous fictions as concentration was on emphasis on topic “rain”.As for the setting it was in India and yes I believe there is not a chain of starbucks in India but barista I think. But I am absolutely sure that there is one starbucks in juhu Mumbai ,I visited it on my recent trip to India.
    I hope to write some more fiction on romantic themes in near future so watch this space.

  34. So, you finally participate! Good Luck!!

    This one is good, it has its moments, and makes use of really vivid imagery. (Like the line ‘Ananya’s clothes clung to her like second skin, her curly hair now lank and dripping stuck to her demure face moulding it to her slender cheekbone.’)
    All the same, I have a feeling you can do better…

  35. “The twinkling stars boldly pushed their way to glimmer in the night sky once again.”

    right !good to see a light hearted short story…i love the rain myself so much..and i love this character…the Indian Backdrop makes it so much more beautiful..i could smell the chaai shop..i like all the personifications you have made…the best according to me is the thunder clapping hard and hard..i can see a large grey monster or something(silly..i know..but i dont want to supress these images)..and yeah images all over the blog is great..when you said about the rain drops and pearls ..i said to myself “deja vu or what?just yesterday i thought i would write a poem on rain..and did i think of pearls?i mean?” i mean its actually better to dance in the rain and write on it(a poem or a story) than to curse and complain!!

    but somehow i felt ananya could have been a school girl and instead of a laptop a slate perhaps…but then i realised all kids love their lives…how many adults actually do?and then i understood the purpose of the story..its actually same as that of my bllg “just for today let me not anger,ust for today let me have fun”

    -narendra

  36. “once heavily pregnant rain clouds to give birth to a beautiful crimson sky” What an imagination! I just loved it! Awesome vocabulary and very informative, I could learn so many new words in just one article. My ovation for you! Very beautiful work!! Congrats! And thank u for giving us such a marvelous article to read:)

  37. I’m astonished by your work. I’m a published writer. But I feel ashamed of myself now.

  38. Beautifully written. I liked your vocabulary.

    One minor thing , though completely unnecessary is that a Lightning comes first followed by thunder

    Hope you did not take it in wrong sense. 😉

  39. hi nayna…after a loong time i’m getting to read ur blogs…this one is amazing…the use of wide vocabulary and the descriptions of the mood and the weather in such a way that one can feel the mood is amazing…more appreciations bec since u are from uk with almost no exposure to Indian weather and settings..its a very good work.. 🙂 great going..

  40. Wow!!! The story is so beautifully written. Everything feels so real while reading the story. Kudos!!!


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