that summer….

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I was inspired to write this poem for the bloggeratti writing contest on the theme “summer heat”. However once I had written it I had cold feet and decided not to enter it . I was sure that there would be many more highly commendable  entries from the many talented persons who write such beautiful blogs that my poem would not be of any similar standard in comparison. But since I had written it I would like to share it here.

_______________________________________________________

The acrid, piquant summer heat, on a scorching sultry day.
Sweat beads forming on her lucid tomboy face,
That’s how I remember her
“Lucy” my childhood mate.

She was like no other,
Never did she wear
Prissy frocks and ribbons
In her curly brown hair.

Scuffed knees and climbing trees
Fishing in the bubbling creek
Chasing spiders and digging worms
Collecting tadpoles in jam jars old

Tough as an old boot and resilient
Audacious and free spirited was she
She never squirmed and never squealed
She was not like those silly girls that screech

Making dens and building rafts
Camping out under the twinkling stars
Skinny dipping in the lake
Glorious summers we did spend

Then summer came to an abrupt end
And the autumn leaves began to fall
But still I knocked on her door
To ask her if she would come out to play

Sadly things had undesirably changed
Nothing remained as autumn came
There she stood smiling from head to toe, giggling like a girl
Dressed in a frock and ribbons in her hair

Yuk what had happened to my childhood mate?
Repulsed and betrayed I ran away.
This was unforgivable, what a deceit
How could she do this?
She was “Lucy” the tom boy my best mate.

copyright © 2009 Nayna Kanabar

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Published in: on July 2, 2009 at 8:00 am  Comments (36)  

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36 CommentsLeave a comment

  1. wow!!
    simply nice

    loved readin it

    great.it pictures out the innocence of a child

  2. not bad…!!!

  3. Never discourage yourself that u cant write like others,Always be confident that u can write far better than others.
    Well, as far as ur poem is concerned it’s good but I want to point out one thing today people dont follow the poetical rules I mean it has lot of formats like sonnet,ballad bt people write in the prose form.
    I just want to advise that if u r writing a poem then there must be rhymes n rhythm which make it better and always use the poetical format.
    u write v.well keep it up !~!

  4. @ restless poet
    Thanks for the tips, poetry is not my strong point and I have no knowledge of rules in poetry.I just go with the flow!!!

  5. @ bhaswati
    “not bad”<< does this mean it could be better??? 🙂

  6. Hmmm! it’s ok flow is good bt if it’ll bcum more rhymy dan it will be awesome.
    well do read my poems on my blog too and ur comments r precious.

  7. well written 🙂

  8. Hey, Really nice poem. I loved it.

  9. awwww so sweet… Wish u would have entered it … 🙂

  10. Very nice poem. Had a nice time reading it. A child who simply can’t accept her friend in a new avatar. (reminds me of my childhood). Keep posting more. This entry would’ve been in contention for the summer heat contest had u submitted it. 🙂

  11. very nice…there’s one fiction on Indian summer-‘Games at twilight’ by Anit Desai….must read

  12. Nice Writing……..

  13. hey, you shudve entered the contest gal. this was a really nice poem. moreover, winning isnt everything yaar.

    hey, is this a real life incident?

    why shud a change in a person’s dressing sense make u abhor her. is she still ur frnd?

    Cheers
    CRD

  14. hey that was a g8 work.. u should have participated.. u could have won a badge for ur page!! [:)]..

  15. @ CRD the friendship is between a girl and boy.They are at that “innocent” age where they think oppoisite sex person is yuk!!!The poem is totally ficticious and a figment of my imagination!!The girl is a tom boy but as soon as she becomes girly the boy starts to detest her.

  16. Hmmmm..welldone…

    Don’t discourage urself..its nice…

  17. You could have won….It was brilliant

  18. wow….lovely poem….

    loved it….

    Well voting would have been more difficult if u had entered the contest….

    But i still think u should have entered… 🙂

  19. Heyy that was such a cute poem…
    But actually there was not much connection wid summers… but overall.. it was a nice read!

  20. Nice! Like they say, change is inevitable! 🙂

  21. simple and nice.. i like the flow..

  22. cute poem!! gr8 language !!

  23. quite liked it.. 🙂

  24. To hell with the others (my apologies to any ‘others’ reading this), if you have confidence in yourself nobody can stop you! You should have at least submitted! This was very good!

  25. @ sagar thanks for such positivity, it feels great to have supportive bloggers like you.
    Maybe its because I am a perfectionist and see fault in my writing too easily that I felt my poem wasnt polished enough for the entry.!!

  26. @ pranay umm really you didnt experience any summer in the poem??I thought all the activities the kids did were what one does in the looong summer holidays.

  27. beautiful poem. i could almost feel the summer with the two of them. real nice.

  28. Hey N, the poem is so beautiful. i dont see no reason why u didnt share it on the blogerrati, i feel u shud do it.

  29. I am generally not a big fan of poetry. But that’s simply because i suck at it. I wish I could write like you. Enjoyed reading it.

  30. this was really wonderful…….the flow was just great.I loved every single word of it…..

  31. Its lovely ya…you should have sent it! 🙂

    PS: Never bother about what others do or how good they are…all you gotta do is try… 🙂

  32. revives memories of child hood……the simplicity of the poem attributes to its beauty……reminds me of a beatles song……’lucy in the sky with diamonds’….maybe because both have a character named lucy…maybe because lennon wrote it about his sons schoolmate..but this was beautiful….and it doesn’t matter that lucy changed…..don’t pine for whats lost….rather revel in what you experienced…..

    i look across the blogging world.and all i see are poems that are more forced attempts at demonstrating ones language skills rather than a free flowing expression of ones self….your poem is a welcome relief..don’t underestimate it….its a jewel.it a diamond in the sky…

  33. @ abhijit I am speechless at your wonderful comments its certainly inspiring to get such good feed back.Thanks.

  34. you may not realise…but your poem ,apart from the intended meaning (friendship is between a girl and boy.They are at that “innocent” age where they think oppoisite sex person is yuk!!!)….also brings out the essential human character of being unable to accept change…..thats what makes it so beautiful……may be its not something you intended….but the poem ended up being allegorical…….when i first read the poem…..that’s what struck me the most…..it was a pleasure to read your poem…..just one minor complaint though…….there not a single other poem in your entire blog…would love to read a few more of your writings….

  35. @abhijit seems you didnt look very far.A whole section dedicated to poems and shayris.Of course not every one written by me but those that are are specified.Other are some old favorites I wanted to share.

    https://cutestangel.wordpress.com/category/uncategorized/shayris-and-poems/

  36. nice poem, you could have participated in the contest.you never know if you might have won with this lovely poem.i know that you write stories and poems very well, so hope to see you participating for the new contest!


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