A proposal of a different kind!!


Environment games arcade.

Sounds: (To create the ambience)Humming, buzzing, shooting bleeping, car racing, clinking of money  and loud rock music in  background .

Deepak engrossed in playing on car racing game, Ria rushes in and almost collides with him. Ria is always in a hurry thodi spit fire jaise hai!!

Ria: “ Uff   Deepak what an awful place to ask me to come.”

Deepak ignores her and continues racing. Ria tries to get Deepak’s attention jangles her bangles and starts to play with her hair but all to no avail!!

Ria: “Deeepak yeh chodo na its so boring here chalo baahar jate hai.”

Deepak:  “Ria wait let me finish.” Just then money runs out and the racing car halts to  a stop .Deepak turns around and glances up at Ria ,he finally notices. “Hey why are you dressed like a dogs dinner, you going to a wedding or something??” Ria is dressed in a salwar kameez and not her familier jeans and T Shirt.

 Ria : Grabbing his arm Chalo na  Deepak its so hot and noisy here I need a drink.”

Deepak : “Ria you have some change ?I just want to have another go on this game”

Ria : “Deepak Are you coming or else I am going? Deepak hears the curtness in Rias voice and thinks oh oh fuse blow hone wala hai and thinks better to go with Ria.They go to the café and get a couple of pepsi’s.

Ria : “I have to talk to you .”

Deepak: “ Pehle toh tum ne kabhi permission nehi mange aaj kyun??”

Ria: “Oh just shut up Deepak and listen, Mere liye ek rista aya hai , the boy is a graduate with a good job and aj hi muje dekne ko aa raha hai.”

Deepak: “  Ji hain, toh kya ???dekh lena, Isme kya hai?”

Ria: “Toh mein deklu??”

Deepak: “ Ji  hain ,kyun nehi??”

Ria thinking yeh sadela, darpok muje “Hain” bol raha hai!!! Abb kya karoo?”Just then the phone rings  .

Ria: “  Ji hai,mummy, bas abhi aye. Deepak I have to go Mummy ka phone tha.Chalo Deepak main chale . ” Ria thodi naraz lag rahi thi ,sooch rahi thi pleases bolo kuch toh bolo .

Deepak:  “Good Luck Ria ,”

Holding back  a tear that is threatening to cascade. Thinking  in her mind he really doesn’t care he is so ignorant. Sadela darr pook!! Ria walks away.

Peeche sey Deepak  ki awaaz ayi .

Deepak: “Hey Ria wait!” Ria’s hear skipped a beat …………bol do ,bol do na deepak.

Instead. Deepak holds out to Ria her purse “You forgot this!”

Ria: “Thanks Deepak.”  she turns to leave, blinking hard to stop the tears.

Deepak: “Oh hain ek baat aur. Ria jo app ko woh  bandher(monkey) acha na lage toh, mere mummy ko ek achi bahu ki bahoot zarrorat hai!!!”…………………….

Ria turned to deepak and said “I hate you!!!  mere jaan ja rahi thi and app ko mazak lag raha tha!!! But she smiled sweetly and whispered Mummy ko bol bahu mil gaye!!!”

(C)copyright 2009 naynakanabar

Published in: on May 21, 2009 at 9:54 am  Comments (20)  

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20 CommentsLeave a comment

  1. wow!


    loved that..

    ek ghar ki sangharsh ki kahani

  2. That was so just sweet … You seem to be a true romantic at heart !!! I specially love the ” sadela ” :)) and ” darpok ” lolz

    Did you have a love marriage too ??

  3. Wonderful, really. Can’t express in words how much I liked it, but it’s awesome. Brought a smile to my face.
    Take care of the typographical errors, though. And could you change the template? It looks kind of dull.

  4. Haha…I thought Deepak would be the guy coming to see Ria later at her home…par kuch aur hi nikla! Surprise! 😀
    Me too loved the “sadela” mumbaiyya slang! 😛

  5. @ Aparajita I checked for typos couldnt spot any????As for template I like it simple so that it doesnt clash with the content !!

  6. waah!! super duper blockbuster…
    isme dard tha… pyaar tha… takraar thi… emotions the.. passion tha.. ekdum perfect masala flick!!!
    why dont u try ur hand at film story writing?? u can very well give karan johar, aditya chopra a run for their money!!! :p

  7. ROFL! Kya jhakaas storyich hai beedoo. Sweet! “Sadela/Darpok” reminds me of someone..lol!

    But I kind of feel that I have read this story earlier too, did you repost it? And there are some typos for example “who bandher” in my last dialogue (lol), it should be “woh bandar”.

  8. Nice….:-)

  9. Beautiful… very romantic… waiting for more from you…

    P.S.: thanks 4 dropping by my blog. Keep visiting!

  10. Cool twist..liked it a lot..

  11. hey that was really sweet n nice..

    kindaa twister @ d end..

  12. woah!!!!! pretty interesting n its hilarious!!! 🙂

  13. Nice as usual…but i guess hindi was a little weak there ;).

  14. p.s: nice one there
    visit mine

  15. @tasneem You are absolutely right I dont actually speak any hindi its self taught so can read it if written in english font and understand it if others speak it.So pls excuse any gramittical errors.

  16. Hehe. sweet story 🙂


  17. Really cute!
    Quite unexpected. Keep blogging!

  18. now thats a story with a real and twisty happy ending…..

    good one…

  19. Hehe! Nice one! I kept smiling the entire conversation! This is one scenario that can be found almost everywhere these days! But not everyone can be as lucky as Ria 😀

  20. I liked the way you write…keep going gal 🙂
    I would check your blog regularly 🙂

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