A job advertisment for position of “mum”

I did not write this post it was an email forward but I really liked it so thought to share it here.

This is hysterical. If it had been presented this way, no one would have applied for the  it!!!!

mom

POSITION :
Mother, Mum, Mama, Mummy, Mumma,
Ma
:
Long term, team players needed, for challenging permanent work in an, often chaotic environment. Candidates must possess excellent communication and organizational skills and be willing to work variable hours, which will include evenings and weekends and frequent 24 hour shifts on call. Some overnight travel required, including trips to primitive camping sites on rainy weekends and endless sports tournaments in far away cities. Travel expenses not reimbursed. Extensive courier duties also required.

JOB DESCRIPTION

RESPONSIBILITIES:
The rest of your life. Must be willing to be hated, at least temporarily, until someone needs £5. Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly. Also, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule and be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat in case, this time, the screams from the backyard are not someone just crying wolf. Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges, such as small gadget repair, mysteriously sluggish toilets and stuck zippers. Must screen phone calls, maintain calendars and coordinate production of multiple homework projects. Must have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks. Must be willing to be indispensable one minute, an embarrassment the next. Must handle assembly and product safety testing of a half million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices Must always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst. Must assume final, complete accountability for the quality of the end product. Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and janitorial work throughout the facility.

POSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION :
Virtually none. Your job is to remain in the same position for years, without complaining, constantly retraining and updating your skills, so that those in your charge can ultimately surpass you

PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE :
None required unfortunately. On-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.
:
Get this! You pay them! Offering frequent raises and bonuses. A balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because of the assumption that college will help them become financially independent. When you die, you give them whatever is left. The oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that you actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.

WAGES AND COMPENSATION

BENEFITS:
While no health or dental insurance, no pension, no tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and no stock options are offered; this job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth and free hugs for life if you play your cards right.

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Published in: on March 6, 2009 at 5:24 pm  Comments (4)  

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4 CommentsLeave a comment

  1. he he he ….good one…send me also a copy of the fwd na…maine chori chod diya hain 😛

    kinda understand what our poor mom’s must be going thru…but we cant help it…nor can our future kids (probably)

  2. hehe nice one!

    how about describing it like “A lifetime opportunity to help creating a new life”
    Only God & Mothers can do that

  3. he he.. very interesting.. made me fell a little bad for my mum.

  4. I know how much I have taken my mom for granted. Mummy yeh nahi khana woh nahi khana, make this for me, make that for me etc etc.


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